Asunción, Paraguay - Avoiding The Euros At All Costs

The thing about sleeping on a boat when you're kind of cold and a little afraid you're going to roll right off the bunk, is that you don't sleep very deeply. So when we docked at 4:30 a.m. I knew it right away. But I didn't feel like getting up. Neither did Michael, judging from the incoherent mumblings from the bottom bunk. So we didn't move. I alternated between hoping that no one would come to kick us out and fearing we'd wake up in Argentina, and eventually fell back into a doze and dreamed I was packing.

At 5:30 the first mate knocked on our door and told us we were at Asunción and that he needed to clean out our camarote for someone else. So we groggily collected our things and vacated the cabin.

Jolly even at that ungodly hour, the first mate repeated his favorite joke for us. Language created a slight barrier, but the joke seemed to be that neither he nor Michael were skinny enough to be King of the World and lean over the front of the boat like Leo, and that for that matter, neither was Kate Winslet. But I'm not sure. And then Michael and I teetered down the gangplank in the darkness.

There were other boats in the water, and a big concrete area lit here and there by streetlights, and some gates up ahead that looked like they might lead to the street. But we had no real idea of where we were, so we paused on a bench to look at the map in the guidebook.

We had gotten our bearings and chosen a hotel to head towards when we spotted the Euros coming off the boat. We were surprised they were still around and we were not particularly happy to see them because under those particular circumstances we couldn't really do other than head into town with them. But when they randomly stopped under a streetlamp to make out, we took that as our cue to sneak away, whether they had seen us or not.

We walked very, very quickly up and out of the shipyard and up the street. It was still dark.I was dying to turn around and check to see if the Euros were creeping up on us but I couldn't risk having them see me see them, so I could only cringe slightly and walk quickly, like someone hoping to avoid a sudden blow to the head. We didn't see any cabs or busses. There were a few people on the street, but no one bothered us on our surprisingly short walk to the Hotel Miami, in the centro.

The hotel was a bit expensive, but the room was good and we confirmed that we would only have to pay for the night to come, and not the night that was ending. We also confirmed that there was not another foreign couple that had checked in within the past hour or so. And we bought a couple of cold sodas.

Even though we'd been lying down all night, it was still a relief to flop down onto a real bed. There was a while there when it seemed that we really might go out and seize the morning immediately, but who were we kidding? We slept til 11:00 and then ventured out into the suddenly hot, bright city, noisy with traffic.

The crumbling and gritty-aired city decorated with anti-Bush graffiti reminded us both of a Central American capital. So it felt familiar as we walked the baking streets this afternoon looking for lunch and then later for a laundromat, and still later, in the evening, for an ATM that would give at least one of us money.

The situation was dire. We needed money for things in general of course, but we were both hungry and had an immediate need to somehow get ahold of at least enough money for dinner. ATM after ATM rejected us in English and Spanish. This one wasn't working, this one didn't like our cards, another one chose not to tell us why it was withholding money. A security guard at one ATM sent us to another bank, which we couldn't find.

There was one bank that we hurried away from without even trying because right across the street, sitting at an outdoor restaurant described by the LP as being European-esque, we spotted the Euros. If we can just manage to avoid them in Asunción, we'll probably be okay. And we definitely don't have to worry once we get home, because the English girl made it clear that she'd never been to the US and had "absolutely no interest in going."

We quickly walked in the other direction. But after four or five unhelpful ATMs, just as it was looking like we might have to go back to the one near where the Euros were sitting, we found one that was willing to give me money.

I took out 800,000 guaranies and we immediately took a cab to a Korean restaurant across town. Once, after returning from a trip and feeling homesick for my pack, I sat near some Australian backpackers on the subway to eavesdrop on travel talk. One of them said this: "I haven't had breakfast cereal since Fiji!" I was disgusted by the utter travel pretentiousness of that statement but had to admit that clearly the root of the disgust was jealousy.

So it was a little private joke with myself tonight when I kept saying, "I haven't had Korean food since Mexico City!" But it was kind of a bittersweet joke because in less than a month we'll be home and I'll be stuck being jealous again. But at least I'll be able to have Korean food whenever I want. Yum. Oh, and see my family and friends.

The menu at the restaurant was incomprehensible, Korean poorly translated into Spanish, but we ended up with a nice bunch of food and all the kim chee we could eat. Which is a lot. Especially since we haven't had it since Mexico City.

HOURS ON A RIVERBOAT: 22.25